Fire Breathing Chicken!


Articles


May 1st, 2008

July 3rd, 2007

January 18th, 2007

January 16th, 2007

January 6th, 2007

November 26th, 2006

September 27th, 2006

September 2nd, 2006

August 20th, 2006

July 4th, 2006

June 23th, 2006

June 15th, 2006

June 1st, 2006

May 16th, 2006

January 17th, 2006

November 18th, 2005

October 2nd, 2005

October 11th, 2005

October 2nd, 2005

September 21th, 2005

September 12th, 2005

August 18th, 2005

August 7th, 2005

June 12th, 2005

May 22nd, 2005

May 14th, 2005

May 4th, 2005

April 29th, 2005

April 16th, 2005

May 5th, 2004

February 20th, 2004

July 10th, 2003

June 5th, 2003

May 28th, 2003

May 14, 2003

May 7, 2003

May 1, 2003

Chicken Scratches


April 19th, 2008

New Role-playing Game

I am starting a new role-playing game. It takes place on a world where human came to the planet roughly 1,200 years ago, but somehow lost technology and had to rebuild from scratch. Most of the humans are just that, human, but a small minority are very powerful Mages.

Two countries, the two superpowers, are about to go to war over land that has been fought over for centuries, but now there may be artifacts from the original colonists on that land so they are much more serious about owning that bit of mountain. The game takes place in the city-state of Aberdeen, a place mostly ignored until now; except Aberdeen controls a canal both side want access to, badly.

Write Up!

March 23rd, 2008

Another LOL Cat

March 22nd, 2008

New LOL Cat

February 24th, 2008

Dumb Question

What would happen if the Borg assimilated tribbles?

January 10th, 2008

Not a Cat, but a Chicken!

http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=316793

January 4th, 2008

Another LOL Cat

October 27th, 2007

My First LOL Cats

Enjoy...



January 7th, 2007

Filk

Birka Court
by Toriijima Tohaku (mka Robert Schaeffer)

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful court.
That started right at six P M,
And would not be too short.

The king was a mighty fighten’ man,
The queen his fair consort.
Five peerages were set that day,
For a four hour court, a four hour court...

The heralds started getting hoarse,
Their voices had to mend.
After thirty AoAs it seemed that:
The awards would not end;
The awards would not end.

The court took until ten P M their
Majesties cut it “short”.
With Pelicans, the Laurels too,
His Majesty, and the Queen,
The royal guard, the heralds mute and without voice,
Here at the Birka Court.

If you didn’t figure out the tune, it is to the Gilligan’s Island Theme Song.

This parody © Robert Schaeffer, 2007. Rights to perform granted freely, though I ask that if you plan to perform at an event I am at, let me know. If not, let me know how it went. Rights to distribute also granted, provided this copyright is distributed also.

December 14th, 2006

Our Friends: The Safety Rail

You don’t realize how important safety rails are until you play a video game based on Star Wars and fall, and fall, and fall.

Though, I swear the computer-controlled Obi-Wan pushed Jar-Jar more than once.

November 30th, 2006

It Will Be Glorious

In an old column about Mac OS X, by Andy Ihnatko, he summarizes his feeling about the NeXT/Apple merger as:

It will be glorious.

But...

This is a favorite phrase of Worf’s; he says it only when he is about to do something that will completely restore the honor and former glory of both the Empire and his household, and return peace to the galaxy; or when he’s about to do something unbelievably stupid.

As an example of completely stupid, say this in your best Worf voice:

My plan is this: Commander Data will load me into Torpedo Bay Three and then fire me at the Borg Collective. My massive bony forehead will tear through at least eleven decks of their ship, after which I will engage each of the ninety-thousand Borg in single combat. It...will...be...

October 20th, 2006

Boat-Boat-Boat-Boat-Boat-Boat-Boat-Boat-Boat-Boat-Boat-Boat-Boat

Ekk’s boat, the Merganser, had her maiden voyage. All went amazingly well. I am one of the wool-covered bumps in the middle.

Site of just the boat!

Barb’s LJ

Elinor’s LJ Part 1

Elinor’s LJ Part 2

September 6th, 2006

Sleep Apnea and SCA Camping

I have a Bi-PAP machine and I like to camp in the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA). The problem is that there are rarely outlets at these events (or at least to where I want to camp), so I bought a system to power my machine. This is how it went and what I have learned or at least been told.

My setup is an 80 Amp-Hour deep-cycle sealed AGM battery. It is big and heavy, but it will run my machine for three nights dropping to about 50% charge, or 12.2 volts. It might run for more nights, but I was told to not let it go under 12.0 volts or that might damage the battery. I am not sure of this fact, but since three days gets me through most SCA events except Pennsic, and at Pennsic three days means I only need to recharge once (I usually go for one week), I am using this as a working theory.

I went with a type that is sealed since it does not require water and does not spill acid if tipped.

I was told that a smaller battery that would only run a night would not be able to handle the amperage required, which is why I chose to use one big battery rather than two small ones. I have a cart for it. This is important.

I am estimating that my machine draws 20 watts. It is rated for higher, but only needs to draw that much for my pressure. Knowing how many watts your machine draws at your setting is helpful. Power, or wattage, is voltage times amperage. So, at 20 watts and 12 volts, I need 1.667 amps. With an 80 amp-hour battery this means I can run it (in theory) for 80/1.667 = 48 hours. 48 / 8 means 6 nights. What I suggest, if you know your wattage, is to do the math as I just did then half the time to take into account not wanting to completely discharge the battery as well as possible naps and other uses you will put the battery to.

Next is an DC to AC converter called an inverter. It does not produce a perfect sine-wave, but it is close enough for the Bi-PAP machine. I found that the Bi-PAP really wants almost 13 volts DC, so running it directly off a battery doesn’t work for more than a few hours. Instead, I use the inverter to go from battery to 120 volts AC and then plug the Bi-PAP in exactly as I do at home. I highly recommend using this system since the inverter can handle the slowly lowering voltage as the battery’s charge drops. The inverter will also shut down if the battery gets too low, which will prevent the battery from getting damaged. Usually they cut out at 10.5 volts which may still result in some damage. Finally, you have a standard outlet in case there is some reason someone needs to run something at camp.

I then just plug my Bi-PAP into the inverter and it works.

I do not take the humidifier camping since that is less of an issue in the summer and is a huge power draw.

As for a charger, I bought the one that the battery store recommended. You want one that will recharge the battery in eight or so hours, since that is how long you usually get at Pennsic.

I also recommend buying a cheap voltmeter to measure your battery. Anything will do. Try to find out what voltages map to what levels of charge, and what voltages you want to not let your battery go below.

Going forward, I have considered a solar recharging setup. Since there is only one event I would need to recharge at and they make it very easy to recharge, it didn’t seem worth the money.

September 2nd, 2006

Things that Make Me Happy

  • M&Ms.
  • Sleeping well.
  • Afternoon naps.
  • Autumn.
  • Discovering interesting things about a former coworker’s sex life. Oh my! Wish I knew that when she was still in state.
  • Soy sauce.
  • Finishing cleaning something and it is all nice and clean and I can enjoy it and not have to think about it.
  • Backrubs.
  • Podcasts.

August 20th, 2006

Back from Pennsic

I am back from Pennsic. It was great.

So, we left Saturday pretty early in the day which made the trip out there very nice and easy. We were on the road by 10:30 and got to a motel close to the site before 10:00 in the evening. Slept and was then in good shape to set up Sunday. That rocked.

Sunday we set up.

We camped in a corner of Panther Vale’s area. They rock also. Thanks for helping make Pennsic fun.

So, from here on out the actual days get fuzzy. I had a very bad case of Pennsic Attention Deficit Disorder. But, I napped a lot, except that in terms of total hours of sleep I think I averaged about 7 hours out of every 24. Four or five at night and two or three during the day.

The weather was the best I have ever seen a Pennsic with only one mildly hot day.

I caught up with a bunch of people I hadn’t seen in years, which was nice. Swapped e-mail and such. Got hooked on a period Arabic toothbrush/tree-root thing which I am going to start using not just for camping.

Swam, napped, socialized, ate, napped some more.

Ran into a few random people who turned out the be the sister-in-law of someone I know or something like that. Small world for an event with over 11,000 people.

Discovered that I give good backrubs. Had at least one person tell me she had almost fallen asleep and another say, “I have never had a professional massage before.”

That was nice.

Got in a glow-stick fight one night that ended with glow-stick juice splattered over people. That was really cool, actually. Don’t get it in your eyes.

Took a class from a guy in how to kiss hands. Best class ever.

Didn’t burn or blister, though I have a Penssic medallion shaped tan line.

Ran into lots of people with C-PAPs or Bi-PAPs and batteries. Compared notes. I am going to look up some of their sites this week. I want to make a household of people with C-PAP or Bi-PAPs and call it Clan Darth Vader. I doubt that will pass.

Tent and all that worked great. That was a relief.

The drive home was uneventful, which was good.

July 4th, 2006

New England Weather

Summer: Rain. Warm.

Fall: Rain. Cool.

Winter: Snow. Cold.

January 18th, 2006

Childish Meme

Name 5 things that you adore secretly (or publicly) but think are childish.

  1. Trying to use logic with my cats.
  2. Danny Phantom and Fairly Odd Parents.
  3. Chickens!
  4. Paying my boss a dollar to throw himself bodily against his office wall, the one he shares with his boss’s office.
  5. This site.

November 4th, 2005

Rush Limbaugh

Wow. I was looking for information about how much Rush distorts things. I didn’t realize it was this crazy.

Do not follow this link if you agree with him.

In other news, I had my surgery but not much has improved. Sigh.

Kitten is still hyper.

October 11th, 2005

Sick

Well, just over two weeks to surgery. At least I can see if I can get comments to work with Chicken Scratches.

Oh, and the movie Spirited Away totally rocks.

October 4th, 2005

Music

Oh.My.God.

September 27th, 2005

Comments Followup

For those that noticed a broken link with comments and the link page, I draw your attention to the line in the last entry that I have made in italic.

Mood: In pain because my cat just botched a leap-on-lap roll and left claw marks on my leg. Didn’t even know she was there.

September 26nd, 2005

I Now Have The Ability to Take Comments

I am using LiveJournal as a way to wrangle comments on articles here. I may add the same for Chicken Scratches. But, frankly, I am right now too fried to even test what I have done. That is where you people come in. Enjoy.

September 22nd, 2005

No One Else Has Said This

Flying Spaghetti Monster is obviously the Logrus.

If any part of that makes no sense, well, read Roger Zelazny’s Amber series and go to this web-page.

But, no one else has said this so I am the first. See?

September 17th, 2005

Priorities

From the LA Times:

Bill Kristol, another prominent conservative, recently told the New York Times, “I think the Clinton administration would have done a better job in handling Hurricane Katrina, but I’m also glad Bush is president and not a Democrat.”

Uh, why?

September 13th, 2005

Tony is a Genius

Tony discovered that if you take:

WEEKEND 2 Saturday, September 10: Cleavage Contest

http://www.kingrichardsfaire.net/

You can make an anagram (ignoring the numbers) and get:

W.

Ave! Fact, me awkward kingly Scepter rises
when she pretend at being a Tudor tarte.

--C.

September 12th, 2005

Riding Cat!

Once again, Bertha proves she is a master of Photoshop:

September 9th, 2005

Animusic

Okay kids, review time. I just got a new DVD called Animusic. I have tried to describe this to people and failed miserably. So have others. It is amazing beyond words.

Let me describe how I stumbled upon this. I was channel-surfing and hit one of their animations on NHPR. It was cool and I liked the music so I kept watching. The next animation came on. My jaw hit the floor and stayed there. It was amazing. No, we need a better word for amazing than amazing. (When you get the DVD, this was “Pipe Dreams.”)

You see the music. Really. Every note does something different on the screen, so you can see every instrument and every note. In some animations there are details I still haven’t caught.

My favorite animation is “Future Retro.” The music is awesome, but what makes this above and beyond is the robotic drummer gadget (wow) and the “main theme laser” (major wow). If you look closely there are indicator lights, inside the well the laser emerges from, that go on and off in synch with the laser.

Run out and get this, unless you are my niece, in which case wait until Christmas.

September 8th, 2005

Domain Name!

I finally shelled out and got FireBreathingChicken.com! Yay me!

August 26th, 2005

Why it is Not a Good Idea to Pet Iorek

August 18th, 2005

My Next Car

August 13th, 2005

Stripey McCeltic

Bertha made me this great sock-kitty! His name is Stripey McCeltic. Notice his T-shirt.

June 12th, 2005

What is the SCA?

I am in a Medieval Re-enactment group called the Society for Creative Anachronism. I am in the East Kingdom in the Barony of Stonemarche. I will be posting pictures I take at these events here. Oh, yeah, I got a new kick-ass camera!

May 22nd, 2005

New Cool German Word

Atomalterskatze

Cat of the atomic age!

May 22nd, 2005

Ziegelsteinscheißehaus

I have found the greatest German word ever!

Ziegelsteinscheißehaus

Find out what it means.

May 17th, 2005

Fire Breathing Dino-Chicken

Bertha made me a fire breathing dino-chicken, shown here in its native habitat. Beware its fiery breath! His name is Herbie.

May 14th, 2005

Socially Aware Chickens

Get your socially aware chickens!

May 6th, 2005

Home Uses for Lightsabers

I bet you’d never think of the home uses for a lightsaber, well here ya go, and here.

May 5th, 2005

Why I Like Macs

So, some people were sitting around talking about spy-ware on their Windows machines. One person had to totally reformat his hard-drive to get rid of it all. Another only had to reinstall everything. They had antivirus software running.

So, at a break in the stories, I pipe up, “I ran my antivirus scan.”

Pause.

“Um, that’s all I’ve got. It didn’t find anything.”

May 1st, 2005

International Respect for Chickens Day

Yes, Wednesday is International Respect for Chickens Day. I like their suggestions for activities.

April 26th, 2005

Icons!

Bertha made icons of Betsey, herself, and myself. Pretty cool!

Betsey Bertha Rob

Not much else new. No I.V. in my arm any more. Yay!

April 21st, 2005

New colors!

Thanks to Betsey for her help and to Bertha for tweaking the logo! Yay!

April 19th, 2005

World’s Greatest T-shirt

The world’s greatest T-shirt is here. Be sure to click on the larger image.

Today seems to be another National Drive Like You Are a Kitten and There Might Be a Small Bird Under Your Brake Pedal Day. It must be the warm weather.

So, I hope people like the new colors. They are cheerful and that is good. The new logo looks very happy, like breathing fire is the best job ever a chicken can have. Maybe it is. Most fire-breathing things are grumpy, from dragons to Godzilla.

April 16th, 2005

Recovering

Well, as you may or may not know, I am recovering from pneumonia and an antibiotic resistant sinus-infection. After about ten days of a new I.V. antibiotic I think I may actually be turning the corner. Yay me! Yay Fortaz the antibiotic.

April 15th, 2005

Welcome Back!

Well, it has been a while, but Fire Breathing Chicken is back! Yay!

Now, I have someplace to write down all the wacky dreams I have that I can’t bore my coworkers with, which is news since I now have coworkers. I am doing automated web testing at EBSCO. You have either heard of EBSCO or don’t care.

I want to thank Bertha for her help with the logo, which I then stole all the colors from to make this page.

Oh, yeah, I also got a Mac Mini which is really nice.



Site copyright ©2003-2008 Fire Breathing Chicken. Individual articles copyright to their authors and artists. All rights reserved.
Unless otherwise stated, all articles, art, and design are by Robert Schaeffer. Logo by Bertha Crowley. Main page design help from Betsey Lenz. Filmed on location.